Saturday, February 26, 2011

3rd draft changes

So going over my second draft and there are some things I need to address. One of the biggest issues is that After Braden first comes to the circus, Victor allows him to return to Jerome. It's what needs to happen plotwise but it just doesnt feel right how I currently have it happen. This is basically what triggers the transition into act 2, when Braden comes home after school and discovers it in ruins. The other plot mechanic/logic problem I am having is that once Victor attacks and drives out Jerome, he currently doesn't leave anyone behind to collect Braden. I need to write in someone being there and maybe scaring Braden off accidentally. The other points in my script that I think need to be stronger are the relationships between the characters. It is now written in that Victor was one of Jerome's former students, but the is currently no connection for why Braden is being raised by his grandfather or what happened to Braden's Parents. When I wrote the first draft I had it that Braden and Jerome were not related and that Jerome had seized Braden as a child and killed his parents. But as the script evolved it has turned into that Jerome IS Braden's actual grandfather, just not through Merlin's line so he cannot use the Key himself. I am plotting out how to write into possibly Braden's parents and Victor both being Jerome's students, and when learning of his true intent rebelled. Braden's Parents are killed in the fight, but Victor survives, and Jerome also gets Braden. I am not sure how I will present this information. I am toying around with ideas such as flashbacks and the like, but nothing has really stuck out as a good way to interject this information into the story.

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